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[furiousgoldfish]

If you’re suicidal the rules of what’s good for you change. If you’re in a state so bad that you want to discontinue your own life, anything that will make you want to live is good. Even if in other situations it would be seen as unhealthy, shameful, childish or obsessive, if it’s going to make you want to live for a bit longer it’s the correct choice. For instance, self harm is bad, but, if it’s the choice between that and wanting to die? Allowed. Skipping all work/chores/studies and spending a day in bed or bath or or the floor would usually be frowned upon, but if you’re suicidal? The right choice! Dropping anything that makes you want to live less is a good choice, and completely avoiding anything that makes you die is great. It doesn’t matter if everyone thinks you’re avoidant or lazy or irresponsible, fuck them, you’re fighting for your own life here, and they’re interfering. Their opinions can take a hike.

Only thing that is still not okay is trying to control someone else with how you feel. Making suicide threats to someone, making them feel as if your life is in their hands now, still not okay, not permitted. But anything else goes. Your life continuing is worth more than anything in the world being done, and more important than any social rules being obeyed.

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[findingnewnormal]

Attention spoonies who are heat intolerant! (Or anybody else effected by heat)

This stuff is pure magic, you spray it on your face a couple of times or in the air around you and it instantly cools you down, doesn’t effect my makeup as a bonus. It’s a fiver in boots but might be cheaper elsewhere, it’s saving me this summer so worth every penny

Edit: might also be good for people experiencing hot flushes/menopause

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[marauder-33]

For all of you out there having recovery as your new years resolutions: I am rooting for you with all my heart and I sincerely hope you achieve your goal.

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[sighinastorm]

This is the Goose of Outrageous Self Assuredness.  Take from her example, her ludicrous and excellent poise in the face of bullying, and be confident in your place, your course, your equal validity.

[africanaquarian]

I’m always amazed by the amount of fucks geese refuse to give.

[fuckyeah-nerdery]

This is it, this is everything you need to know about geese in one video.

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maintaining the tension in your story

[authorincrisis]

Maintaining the tension in your story is crucial towards the development and quality of writing. It must be present as often as possible, regardless of the situation as it will provide for the audience a reason to keep reading. Below are some ideas as to how you can do so.

1. Create complex and three-dimensional characters who have both pros and cons: Your readers do not necessarily have to agree with every single one of their beliefs, however, you should allow them to put up a good argument. Remember, the audience doesn’t always have to like the character, simply care about them.

2. Allow your characters to clash: Letting them get along too easily may become a bit bland. Instead, let your characters be a little selfish. They can have different opinions, and more often than not, it will provide some depth to the story.

3. Chose a conflict that is important to the protagonist: Since we read from the character’s perspective, we will become more invested if they are as well.

4. Raise the stakes: Let the problem grow larger so your character can care more. Raise their motivation. This is similar to the point above as we too will care more.

5. After you resolve a conflict, introduce another: There should be several points of peak tension, some higher than others.

6. There should always be tension but vary the amount: Let your audience have a break once in a while. Keep the tension but let it rest for a bit. Have a filler scene, a small conversation, etc.

7. There should be tension all around, not only concerning your character: Yes, your character is the centre of your story but not of the world. Have other things going on and let other people have the spotlight once in a while.

8. Make the sources of tension different: There should be numerous issues going on, many rooting from others but still different. I’m sure that Rob is devastated because of his divorce but with it also comes financial issues, housing, and more.

9. Never make things easy for your character: They should be allowed to fail. It’s only human. Along with this, don’t let them have what they want straight away. MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT.

10. Pick up the pace: You don’t have to do this 100% of the time, but be sure to have some moments where it is flashing by for the reader, similar to the character. Add in time crunches and deadlines; it will help.

So, those are my ten tips, however, you can find more yourself. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions as I’m always here to help. Cheers!

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little things that can help you if you have bpd

[bpdelicacy]

i’ve been seeing a lot of topics like “how to deal with someone who has bpd” and it always bothers me, because there is basically no topics about how to deal if YOU have bpd. that’s why i’m making this post, in my opinion as someone who has bpd. feel free to leave other tips and comment!

• buy a notepad and write about your emotions. in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), used a lot to help people with BPD, they tend to help others to regulate their emotions, basing on some principles, like:

1. identify and classify emotions; usually, people with BPD suffered/suffer from emotional abuse and it makes harder for us to have a knowledge about our feelings, since we never had someone to help us in this aspect. if you have hard times dealing with your emotions, you can create a special organization on your notepad, basing on: what just happened that could be a possibly trigger to your feeling? (EVEN IF IT’S SOMETHING MINOR, for example, if your friend replied to you in a different way, if you saw an image that made you feel uncomfortable); what are your physical symptoms about it? (for example, if you feel butterflies in your stomach, you are possibly anxious); what does this feeling make you want to do? (for example, if you feel like you want to hit something, you are possibly experiencing anger). and, also, try to identify your primary and secondary emotions, for example, if a friend forgets about an event that you would go together, first you may feel anger, but this anger can be followed by frustation or sadness (secondary emotions).
   
2. how to “change” your emotions; after writing about your emotions and trying to learn about them, you can add a subject in your notepad about “WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THIS FEELING”. your first thoughts may be pessimists, specially because borderlines are VERY impulsives, like “i should probably self-harm” or even “i should probably kill myself”, due to the intensity of bpd emotions, but right now, you have to think with your rationality. for example, if your friend is delaying to reply, you can think about the possibilities that are causing this problem: if they are busy, if they are having a hard time or if they just don’t want to talk right now. after thinking about the situation as a whole, you’ll ask yourself “okay, but what will i do?” and that’s why i think it’s important to create a list about what makes you happy and what distracts you, so everytime you have a hard situation to deal with, you can check on your list. “oh, i’m having x problem, but in my list it says that painting makes me happy, so what about painting something i saw today?”. if you don’t have anything that you like about, there is an app called Calm Harm, that can help you in self-harm situations!
3. increase and improve positive emotional events; i know that it’s difficult for us to focus on positive moments, but once you are feeling down, please try to write about what happened in your day that was a good thing. and when i say it, i don’t mean a BIG thing, it can be something like seeing a flower in your garden. write about your sensations when your experienced this moment and think about the possibility of living this moment more than once. for example, if i saw a flower and it made me happy, can i try to plant one, so i’ll see it more often?
4. apply pressure tolerance techniques; by distraction, self-care, improving the moment and considering pros and cons.
   

SO, in your notepad, have a space to: first, identify and classify your emotions; second, a space to write about how to change your emotions; third, a space to write about positive emotional events and fourth, write about what pressure tolerance techniqures you can apply to your life. 

• practice saying no and saying what you need to the people around you; sometimes people with BPD tend to think that we are a burden to friends and family, and sometimes it’s not true. due to it, we often don’t tell what we really want. so, if you could, please, practice saying NO and what you REALLY need and want to people around you, even if it’s minor things. for example, if someone asks you to lunch with them, but you can’t/don’t want to, don’t let your abandonment fear decides what it’s the best for you, just say no, but not in the intention to hurt the other person. “i’m sorry, i really like you, but i can’t or don’t want to, since i have to do x thing/feeling x thing, but i really like you!”. when you say no, you can have a better idea about what you like and what you don’t, so you can start to let people know about it. for example, “hey! yesterday i said no when you invited me for lunch, so i realized i don’t really like going to public places, what about having lunch in my house next time?”
  
• practice breathing techniques; intense emotions can lead us to panic situations or really bad physical symptoms. in stressing moments, we hold the air, increasing the level of carbon dioxide in our system, so the organism thinks we need more oxygen and make us breathe faster. the imbalance increases our heart beats, our blood pressure and the release of hormones such as adrenaline. i recommend ASMR videos to relax and you can breathe slowly, imagining a circle opening and closing, like the gif:

the post is getting long, so i’ll finish here! i’ll probably post a part two if you guys like! please leave a comment if it was helpful and i’m sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct, english is not my native language.

remember that everything here is theoritical and it’s hard to apply these tips in your life, things will not suddenly change. but i believe in you and things take time, so don’t give up on getting better.

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[selflove-comesfirst]

i will come back from this

i’m already halfway there, knowing in spite of everything that i’m better off without you.

you don’t have control over me anymore. i’m not going to give this the energy that it doesn’t deserve.

i am whole, even without you, and i will find my broken pieces and reconstruct myself from the ground up.

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[isharaytaoshay]

SHIT THIS IS GOOD

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[austinkleon]

“I was made for the library, not the classroom. The classroom was a jail of other people’s interests. The library was open, unending, free.”

— Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me

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[lov-ing-ly]

If youre over the age of 20 and lost all your teen years to mental illness and never got to be normal, or have healthy relationships, went down the wrong path or diddnt have the right nurturing support from BOTH your parents and now you have to sort of catch up on your life whether thats getting your license, getting your GED, starting college, fixing your mental health, or starting things you told yourself to start or try again and again no matter what it is, and trying to fight to live and accomplish shit you FEEL you should have accomplished as a teenager but diddnt have the capacity or insight to care about due to mental illness.

• I am so incredibly sorry, and im thankful youre here and alive and trying!!! also;
• You are N O T a failure you took your time because you couldnt put more on yourself than you could bear to carry and that is a mark of self care so dont ever feel bad about it
• I am so fucking proud of you, youre trying your hardest to get to the top even though it may be harder now, you could have given up but you havent and for that you are victorious and i am in awe of you.

[fetalfawns]

I needed this, thank you